Make peace with grief through ‘Death Over Drinks,’ meditation at Madrona

By Kirk Boxleitner
​Make peace with grief through ‘Death Over Drinks,’ meditation at Madrona | Port Townsend Leader


While death is an inevitable part of life, what members of the local Dying Matters Guild have observed is that many people fail to make peace with that moment of transition before it comes.
To that end, the Dying Matters Guild nonprofit collective has organized a pair of events for this weekend, Feb. 21-22. It is part of their stated mission of “allaying fears around death, and supporting end-of-life choices through education, conversation and connection to resources.”
The Guild has been offering similarly themed events and support services to the community since 2020, including a “green burial” event in the spring of last year. The weekend events feature self-described death doula Bree Rose from Seattle.
While a number of people might be familiar with doulas as non-medical professionals who provide emotional and practical support for women through health experiences related to birth, Rose noted that certain doulas can also address non-reproductive experiences, such as dying.
On Friday, Feb. 21, the Recovery Cafe in Port Townsend will be hosting “Death Over (Non-Alcoholic) Drinks,” while on Saturday, Feb. 22, the Madrona MindBody Institute at Fort Worden will be hosting a death meditation led by Rose.
While “Death Over Drinks” is normally hosted by Peace of Mind online during the third Thursday of the month, the Recovery Cafe event is in-person. The discussion topic is “What do you think, or know, about what happens as we die, and soon after?”
In addition to leading the death meditation on Feb. 22, Rose will deliver a brief presentation during “Death Over Drinks” on Feb. 21, covering what’s known about the process of dying, before Carrie Andrews facilitates a discussion at the Recovery Cafe.
Among Andrews’ aims are to normalize conversations about death to broaden the dialogue while improving people’s access to resources that can help them to deal with death.
Rose touted the value of grieving rituals in dealing with death, both for the person who’s dying and for their loved ones, especially when the answers to certain questions can be worked out in advance.
“Do you want a home funeral?” Rose said. “Do you want your loved ones by your bedside? Is there specific music you want to be played, to ease your passing?”
As part of her studies, Rose earned a degree in psychology. She touted the underpinnings of psychological wellness accessed by meditation exercises and rituals related to dying, which can serve to ease anxieties, lower blood pressure, induce calm. Those things open “the door to your subconscious, so you can understand yourself on a deeper level.”
Rose’s death meditation at the Madrona MindBody Institute will focus its participants’ attentions on feeling their own bodies, as well as being conscious of “who and what is around you at that moment.”
Rose added, “Rather than ritualizing death, U.S. culture denies it, creating a fear-based stigma that surrounds it, which hinders our ability to prepare for it or cope with it. You can’t avoid or prevent death, but you can exert some measure of control over how you might experience it, which includes the setting.”